Wednesday, November 28, 2012

 

WHAT I WOULD GIVE

Part of getting older is "realizations."   What I would give if it was possible to re-write some of the things I have done in past years. It has become very clear that I was not always right and my parents were not always wrong.
A few of the jobs I tossed aside would have been far better for me than some of the glamour jobs I chose to work at.  Relatives who were creepy in my youth might have honestly served as good mentors if I could have put away a few of my childish patterns.  The schooling I threw away as a young girl would have served me if I had paid more attention and got a permanent tutor for math subjects. No one knew yet how to diagnose Dyslexia in my public school days, so I got labeled as RETARDED. Yes, it was very humiliating to be put into a corner by my geometry teacher and to wear a dunce hat in public. Even both my parents and the rest of my family thought I was stupid.  After all, the school principal told them this.  Therefore, it had to be true.

Of course I did do a few things I am very satisfied with. 
:-) For example: My long, wondrous and challenging years in show biz were marvelous.  Raising a child mostly alone after my first husband died was a true accomplishment.  YES... I am proud of how I cared for my little baby girl as a newborn and nursed my husband who had terminal bone cancer.  As difficult as it was (it literally broke my physical health), I somehow survived to become a sincere and sought after trauma therapist.  Being caretaker for my MOM made me grow up and have compassion for aging.  After all, she had love and compassion for me when I was a gravely ill baby and young child.  Helping people and animals in emotional or physical pain has become a way of life for me.  Even as a young child I was the caretaker of many animals, my father when he suffered a massive coronary thrombosis, and my grandmother, when she went through many bouts with debilitating cancers..  This caretaker path fills my soul with rewards that do not have descriptors in spoken or written language. 
Sometimes the payment is not in dollars as I have never turned anyone away if they are sincere and in genuine need. What I have learned in decades of life on the material plane is that this is merely the beginning of our learnings.  Life/consciousness do not end with the last breath in a physical body.  Thanks to all my teachers.  Some of you were once my enemies.  But every one of you were part of the journey.  amen RubyNorma *o*


Comments:
Hi. You have spoken for so many of us with this blog. Rudy and Rihanna
in Nova Scotia
 
Doesn't it seem like many people experience what you just wrote about, Dr. Yanez? I surely did. So did all my siblings and wife. Now I look at my four children and can see they are as well. Bless you for saying what so many of us do not know how to say. R in MA
 
Ahhhhhhhhhh, the tapestry of our lives is well reflected upon in your blog. Thank you special lady. ANON
 
If people do not reflect and review themselves, there is no accountability. Luis in Venezuela
 
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