Friday, July 26, 2013
TO BE OLD
Greeting to you all.
What does it mean when we become old? Have we learned enough to be deemed wise? Or have we not grown very much in the span of those years? I was raised to respect my elders and to listen when spoken to without being rude. Of course that is very old fashioned, but I kinda' like it better than the rampant disrespect we see nowadays from young people towards the elderly. Why am I writing this to you?
Thanks for asking. grins :-)
After more decades than I can fathom down here, and now in an aging body, I feel like it is time to say as much of what I truly believe in and respect before I cross over to Rainbow. Since beginning this Norma's Ark Blog back in 2006, I have received enough commentary to fill up an encyclopedia. Most have been pleasant and respectful. A few, not so much. :-(
I have spoken with people from The Vatican, assorted other countries, some very famous politicians and entertainers, the struggling unemployed, returning soldiers who have been devastated by wars in the plural, and a few very mentally sick folks. All have taught me things I appreciate, even if they disagreed with my blogs. So now I ask those who read my writings how you feel about the aging process, and the growing disregard for the elderly? Have you learned from your older mentors? Do you feel they are outdated jerks? Do you shy away from old people, and feel they should be put away in a nursing home so you will not have to be bothered because you are just too busy?? Do you adore and respect your older circle and want them at your family table on a regular basis? Have you abandoned family or pets because they are old and sick... and regard them as a waste of your precious, youthful time?
All these vital questions are weighing upon me as I am aging. Thank you in advance for your genuine replies.
Blest Be. Dr. RubyNorma Yanez, CH.t
Or should I humbly say, look who I am
agreeing with?
Pope urges young Catholics to
TREASURE THE ELDERLY..
Comments:
I feel our society does not value old people. I went to a new eye doctor who tried to scare me into all sorts of tests as I am getting old. Any comment I made, he disagreed with and said it was just because I was getting old. Ill health is ill health - not being old. You can bet that very young man lost a customer. The sad part is that he believed what he was saying.
We have kept our animal friends alive far longer than most - even past loss of bladder and bowel control. If they still enjoyed eating and being with us, we kept them. Our Malamute lived to be 16 - the vet said the average age expectancy was 8......
Many of my dear older friends tell wonderful stories. I have more difficulty with the infirm - not sure when to offer assistance..... do not want to wound pride.
I am grateful for the opportunity to grow old. N in Tucson
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WOW! Absolutely amazingly wonderful! Well written and very very appreciated. Thank you so much.
Dipak from NYC
Dipak from NYC
# posted by 
: 5:03 PM
: 5:03 PM
When old people and pets are abandoned, it will come back to haunt those who do the abandonments.
Universal Karma is funny that way.
Dr. HT in Oregon
Universal Karma is funny that way.
Dr. HT in Oregon
# posted by : 5:31 PM
: 5:31 PM
Bet you won't print this. Old people give me the creeps. ANON 15 years of age and proud to say my feelings.
# posted by : 5:33 PM
: 5:33 PM
Could you please write more on aging in America? I am old and my family dumped me. ANON Chicago
# posted by : 5:34 PM
: 5:34 PM I feel our society does not value old people. I went to a new eye doctor who tried to scare me into all sorts of tests as I am getting old. Any comment I made, he disagreed with and said it was just because I was getting old. Ill health is ill health - not being old. You can bet that very young man lost a customer. The sad part is that he believed what he was saying.
We have kept our animal friends alive far longer than most - even past loss of bladder and bowel control. If they still enjoyed eating and being with us, we kept them. Our Malamute lived to be 16 - the vet said the average age expectancy was 8......
Many of my dear older friends tell wonderful stories. I have more difficulty with the infirm - not sure when to offer assistance..... do not want to wound pride.
I am grateful for the opportunity to grow old. N in Tucson
# posted by : 6:40 PM
: 6:40 PM
Oh, RubyNorma, you hit a hot button issue for me. I hate aging. Why? Because we live in a throw-away society. I was my mother's sole caregiver and had to fight every day to keep her alive and to have dignity in her later years. It was very frustrating in a system set up to kill the caregiver. I had countless people, including her oncologist, ask me why I didn't put her in a nursing home. My answer: I am NOT WAREHOUSE MY MOTHER!!! It still makes me furious that this is the norm in this society. I have no one who will fight for me. I will have to fight for myself. But I will NOT go to a nursing home. Ever. No matter what they call it. The condescension for the elderly, the disrespect makes me sick to my stomach. People should be ashamed of themselves. There is so much to be learned from older people. They should be revered, loved, respected. Fat chance.
ANON in MA
ANON in MA
# posted by : 10:19 AM
: 10:19 AM
Hi Ruby,
The lack of respect shown to the elderly is the result of the lack of courage and commonsense by both the citizens and the ruling leaders.There is a law in Australia that stipulates that a child under 10 years old cannot be deemed responsible for anything.All over Australia young kids between seven and eight who know about this law are taking the piss out of all authority agencies including the police,who can do absolutely nothing about it.Good that.These days everything is revolving around money.Money is only one part of the twelve experiences of man,while he lives on this earth.People do not know this nor have they got any clue about what their governments have in store for them.Old people cost money,like pensions,rebates and mostly health care.Well,in many countries now if you are retired and have financial assets that you have worked your butt off for this is taken into account and your government pension is reduced even stopped altogether.Next is the amount of toxins and chemicals being put and allowed legally,in foods to poison and reduce the lifespan of the elderly who mostly have lower immune systems.Any good commonsensical doctor will tell you there is no vaccine that can cure the flu,yet every year we hear this repeated bleating by scientists and eminent doctors advocating the elderly be given flu vaccines supposedly to help them fight these concocted flu epidemics that just happen to go around the world every winter.You may ask why governments would sponsor big pharma to produce millions of vaccines to give to the elderly free.Well,just think about the cost of a vaccine against the monthly pension of a pensioner over twenty years.That's why.All flu vaccines actually make people sick and if they are unlucky they are dead.Once the old codger drops dead after receiving a $10 dollar vaccine,the government stops paying his pension for ever.Are you getting the gist of lateral thinking here?.But then again his death is totally blamed of any flu epidemic that just happens to do the rounds then.Funny how the Chinese,the Spanish,the South Americans are blamed for flu epidemics these days.Even the birds,pigs and predominantly the Asians.
Then again I may have got all this very wrong but I very much doubt it. Have a nice day. ANON in OZ
The lack of respect shown to the elderly is the result of the lack of courage and commonsense by both the citizens and the ruling leaders.There is a law in Australia that stipulates that a child under 10 years old cannot be deemed responsible for anything.All over Australia young kids between seven and eight who know about this law are taking the piss out of all authority agencies including the police,who can do absolutely nothing about it.Good that.These days everything is revolving around money.Money is only one part of the twelve experiences of man,while he lives on this earth.People do not know this nor have they got any clue about what their governments have in store for them.Old people cost money,like pensions,rebates and mostly health care.Well,in many countries now if you are retired and have financial assets that you have worked your butt off for this is taken into account and your government pension is reduced even stopped altogether.Next is the amount of toxins and chemicals being put and allowed legally,in foods to poison and reduce the lifespan of the elderly who mostly have lower immune systems.Any good commonsensical doctor will tell you there is no vaccine that can cure the flu,yet every year we hear this repeated bleating by scientists and eminent doctors advocating the elderly be given flu vaccines supposedly to help them fight these concocted flu epidemics that just happen to go around the world every winter.You may ask why governments would sponsor big pharma to produce millions of vaccines to give to the elderly free.Well,just think about the cost of a vaccine against the monthly pension of a pensioner over twenty years.That's why.All flu vaccines actually make people sick and if they are unlucky they are dead.Once the old codger drops dead after receiving a $10 dollar vaccine,the government stops paying his pension for ever.Are you getting the gist of lateral thinking here?.But then again his death is totally blamed of any flu epidemic that just happens to do the rounds then.Funny how the Chinese,the Spanish,the South Americans are blamed for flu epidemics these days.Even the birds,pigs and predominantly the Asians.
Then again I may have got all this very wrong but I very much doubt it. Have a nice day. ANON in OZ
# posted by : 10:21 AM
: 10:21 AM
Ruby,
I was raised to respect people – regardless of race, age or gender. I was also raised to love and respect myself, and with that an expectation of reciprocity of treatment in the relationships I choose to have. We don’t choose our family, so many of us find ourselves forced to try and create relationships with people we don’t really like or respect. Sometimes we can make it work – and sometimes it just doesn’t happen no matter how hard we try.
While I agree that there are abuses of long-term care facilities – I have also seen people at the end of their lives question why people ‘dumped’ them and complain about their ‘awful family’ only to ignore the nasty person looking back at them in the mirror. Yes, there are circumstances where people shirk responsibility; however there are also many cases where it is easier and more self-serving to point fingers at someone else rather than take a hard look at your own actions.
If one finds at the end of their life that friends and family do no care to be around them – take a good look at yourself. Have you always treated them kindly, tenderly and with the love and respect they deserve? BE HONEST. Is there an underlying personality disorder (borderline or narcissism, etc), emotional imbalance or substance abuse that is driving people away? Are there patterns in your life of people not wanting to be around you?
While I feel we should treat others as we want to be treated – I also feel we have the right to remove ourselves from relationships that are not healthy. Old age doesn’t give someone a ‘pass’ for bad behavior – and we shouldn’t be the ‘bad’ one for protecting ourselves from a toxic relationship.
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I was raised to respect people – regardless of race, age or gender. I was also raised to love and respect myself, and with that an expectation of reciprocity of treatment in the relationships I choose to have. We don’t choose our family, so many of us find ourselves forced to try and create relationships with people we don’t really like or respect. Sometimes we can make it work – and sometimes it just doesn’t happen no matter how hard we try.
While I agree that there are abuses of long-term care facilities – I have also seen people at the end of their lives question why people ‘dumped’ them and complain about their ‘awful family’ only to ignore the nasty person looking back at them in the mirror. Yes, there are circumstances where people shirk responsibility; however there are also many cases where it is easier and more self-serving to point fingers at someone else rather than take a hard look at your own actions.
If one finds at the end of their life that friends and family do no care to be around them – take a good look at yourself. Have you always treated them kindly, tenderly and with the love and respect they deserve? BE HONEST. Is there an underlying personality disorder (borderline or narcissism, etc), emotional imbalance or substance abuse that is driving people away? Are there patterns in your life of people not wanting to be around you?
While I feel we should treat others as we want to be treated – I also feel we have the right to remove ourselves from relationships that are not healthy. Old age doesn’t give someone a ‘pass’ for bad behavior – and we shouldn’t be the ‘bad’ one for protecting ourselves from a toxic relationship.
# posted by : 3:27 AM
: 3:27 AM << Home
