Thursday, May 15, 2014

 

DEAR RUBY


This DEAR RUBY blog will be a change of pace.  We receive many requests for counseling.  At times it is over-whelming.  DEAR RUBY, will become an occasional column, although certainly not like Dear Abby.  The following is something I am putting out to you all to learn from your own life wisdom.  All valid and pertinent replies will be posted publicly.  At times the advice will be from a pastoral counseling and metaphysical  viewpoint, although not from a religious bent.  Thanks so much for your participation. Blest Be. *o*

Dear Dr. RubyNorma Yanez,
My husband and I are the parents of five children.  two are gay.  We are not gay and cannot fathom what we did to create their lifestyles?.....

Dear Dr. Yanez,
Our son and daughter were raised with love, quality time, generosity, and all we could do to make them into spiritual, and very useful people.  One keeps in touch.  The other has no contact with us.  Money to keep on giving dried up.  Also, we aren't as young as we used to be to run around anymore doing physical favors.  The one who keeps in touch is very kind and now helps us with visiting, calling to see how we are doing, and checks up on our health issues.  The other, broke off all contact since we stopped doing favors and giving pricey gifts.  What is going on here?....

I will leave both these requests for help out there to enjoy how YOU would handle such things.  Thank you. Ruby *o*  



Comments:
I can only answer one of these. being gay is part of my own life.
I have been shunned by many family members. Do not lose your children b/c they are gay. Love them. Have a caring and sincere relationship with them. ANON, Hurt in America
 
If your saying the truth and have given the best you could to your kids, and one is loving and helpful, while the other is cold and makes no contact... Then you are way ahead of the game. These days, the meeeeeeeee generation is far too selfish and uncaring towards elderly parents. Rudy in PA
 
What? You say that one child is caring and the other broke off all contact since you cannot give give give money and favors? Well, good riddance to the cold one. Jk in PR
 
We are very close with our children. Two are gay. The others are straight. We love them all.
A Father in NYC
 
What a great idea this is,
Dr. Yanez. Whenever our family is unable to fathom what to do, we give it all up to GOD! In the end, this is by far the easiest answer for us.
Raj
 
When children choose to distance themselves from loving parents, it is because they are hiding things. Allow the one who is no longer in contact to work out their life lessons in their time. Yes, it does hurt to lose a child who you have been loyal to. Remember that they are making this choice. So what if you do not give favors and money anymore. Is this the only reason they kept in touch over the years? If so, this is a sad commentary on their own values. The lack of loyalty and respect for aging parents is quite a problem in a youth oriented America. You did your job, and now it is time for the disloyal child to learn about life lessons. my guess is that one day if you are still living, he/she will return but, be on your guard. The selfishness may still be around and they are just checking to see if they could again take you for something. Also, re-read your will and make sure it is what you truly feel like doing when you are gone. Dr. M
 
My advice is for the parents who are dealing with a gay child. Love that child. It is what GOD Almighty gave you. Love that child. Reverend J
 
Ouch. Don't get me started on ungrateful, abusive children. When those who keep on giving, and those who keep on taking, come to a place they fall apart, both sides are guilty to some extent. The takers are spoiled and self-centered. The givers have enabled it. Then when the perks stop the taker is stymied. Some eventually do grow up and learn to respect parents. Some never will and just seek out others to keep on taking from. I know you are hurting. Dr. S
 
To the family who have both straight and gay children... Love them and support them equally. I believe in reincarnation. We are all genders, all stations of life, rich, poor, evil and good. These lives here on the material plane teach us lessons in spirituality. What we do not learn before the physical death, we are to repeat. Some of us leave here with terrible situations to have to eventually reconcile in future incarnations. Try to leave here with your eternal Karmic bookkeeping system clean.
ANON in Europe
 
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