Saturday, May 23, 2015


When Your Best Is Not Good Enough

Have you ever given the best you can, and something or someone important to you still falls apart?  I have, and to this day, am not clear on what is supposed to be learned from it.

As a youngster, I kept failing in math-related subjects, and didn't learn until age  43 years, that it was because of Dyslexia.  Instead, the school labeled me "RETARDED!"

At around nine years of age, I became a primary medical caretaker of seriously ill family members.  As the eldest female, this was my job.  Although I didn't ask for thanks, it still was never ever given to me for doing such hard and scary medical tasks. As a result, it made me feel inadequate, even though my very best was put into caring for them.  This left an emotional scar. 

As a very young adult, I became an entertainer.  Always giving the best possible performance,  yet my bandleader would never say I did well.  Only when this person was near death, did he tell me I was the best band-member he ever had.  Why the hell did he have to wait so long!

Yes, that's me posing with Diana Ross while performing at
                     The Empire Room of The Waldorf Astoria.e with Diana Ross, while performing at The Empire room of The Waldorf
As a widowed parent raising a child virtually sans help from anyone, I worked, was a full-time MOM, and eventually was also a full-time college student.  It was so time-challenging that at a few points of harsh overwork, it literally broke my physical health.  Yes, I believed I did my best.  But my best wasn't good enough.  In later years I came to learn that none of my parenting was appreciated, respected, and in fact, was disdained.  So be it.

In my heart, I tried.  The many loved ones I cared for, did not give me the credit for doing my best.  Why? Do you have things to teach us all with your life experiences?  Please share?  I just did.

Dr. RubyNorma Yanez, CH.t


When I do my best and things still do not come to a success, I give it all to GOD!
Rita G.
Showing sincere appreciation to others is RARE. Nate
God knows what you did, and how you gave your best. You were watched; His eyes were upon you. You will be rewarded for that effort. I know that because my Mom and Dad told me so, and now they are in Heaven.

Peace be with you, RubyNorma.

What a pretty woman in those photos! J

We love you.. Richie and Sue
Wow Ruby. You're amazing!
Dusty in TX
RubyNorma, I am sorry that is so much of your background. I can say as a child, I knew I was loved. No one ever said the words, but I knew. To this day I strive to do the best I can or at least, be nice.
Again, sorry for your pain.
Clara in FL

because we must validate ourselves first.. not expect to get it outside of self.. I am the only one who can validate me for those outside of me who validate, I thank them, and for those that don't..... oh well! I validate myself.. I do not require anyone else to do it... I am pleased when they do... but I do it first and always! That solves the issue of insecurity and wanty needy.
Love you girl --- Hugs from PA
Those who did not appreciate you, have something the matter with themselves. Pastor I.
I have been blessed to have been appreciated by most of the people in my life. Yes, I know this is uncommon. Peter in Alaska
That is the story of my life, not appreciated by family. E. in TX
I never looked at things in that light.....perhaps I just closed off to input from them... never thinking of getting appreciation or thanks. N. in AZ
I too have had that happen. However, becoming a Deist, I feel the only one I really had to please was my "God/Goddess"! If he/she felt I did a good job, then I was praised. I was never 'slapped' down, only given the nudge to do a little bit more next time. Our heavenly guardians guide us if we listen. I try each day. Sandra B.
Somewhere over the rainbow is true justice, appreciation, gratitude, and of course, love!
A former patient of yours from many years ago. Dr. J.
I am a Rabbi. Our Family enjoys most of what you write. Thank you. Rabbi R.S.
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